From the “ME” to “WE”

At a recent planning meeting in Dresden, Germany, a group of us were working on the design for an upcoming conference called Dialogue & Leadership:  The New Face of Community (www.dialogueandleadership.eu).  Hosted at the home of dear friends from Integral Development (www.intergraldevelopment.de), we discussed the relationship between these three ideas – dialogue, leadership and community.  Of course, this discussion raised more question than answers but one question in particular – How can I balance my need for community with my need for personal and private development and fulfillment? Can I fluidly and easily move between being in with “us” and then alone?  Does this send the message I don’t care?

This balance and movement is such an important tool for leaders – how to be “in it” with your staff and company and when to be outside, driving a path toward the future and helping/hoping people join you.  Can dialogue actually help leaders create bridges between what they want and what businesses really want and need?  I believe the answer is an emphatic yes!

Conversation and listening to what is important to other people – as we do when we are not telling and selling - establishes rapport and trust within systems quickly and with results.  In a recent business meeting, people were asked to share a story about when they were at their best.  This was a powerful experience for these senior leaders.  When their leader recognized how the energy and mood with the group was shifting, he decided to “step in” also share a very personal success story about himself with the group and they all talked about the insights, the feelings and lessons they had learned.  This was a great me – my own story, and we moment – stepping into the conversation and engaging. 

At a break someone came to that leader and commented that they had a better understanding about how he saw success and that would help them in their role.  Further they said – Your story made me realise that you care, and even though you may not take my feedback, I believe you will listen to what I have to say.  Through the use of conversation and stories, this leader was able to be in it with his team AND also be empowered to lead.  The conversation continued to build trust and rapport – an invaluable asset when times are rough. 

How do you use conversation in your leadership roles?  Could you use more of it?  

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